Aruni 1942 - 2022 Hear Guyana Sing

I grew up listening to my Mum sing along with and sing these songs. The words are part of me. I think I learned to dance in the kitchen to these songs.

Hard to believe I get to sing them myself in the country of my birth as I begin my journey back to leave it all behind.

The title of the documentary may be a long one with a sub title and and sub sub title. From the Driver’s Seat, One Woman’s Journey With Trauma. That’s what I have so far - my working title.

We are headed to Guyana to spread my Mum’s ashes. The we you’ll get to meet later. It was my brother’s idea. You’ll get to meet him as well. Rohan said “Kats, this is our 50th year in Canada, we should mark that and take Mum’s ashes back.” Next thing I know, we’re headed to Guyana, the land of my birth. The place it all began. I’m going back to leave it all behind.

I would sit in the driveway of my house, not wanting to go in. I would write poems as I sat in the driver’s seat. Not wanting to go in and have anything to with the man inside. Eventually, I would tell him to leave. Eventually I would learn the extent of and understand the nature of the trauma I experienced and experience. I would learn that decisions I made are part of experiences that began before I was born.

We all know trauma lives on generation to generation. I am now aware of that lived experience, perhaps going back to where it all began, with my Mum, my brother, my children, and grandchild, will allow us all to leave things behind.